Parenting can be an exciting, happy and rewarding experience. It can also be stressful, overwhelming and exhausting at the same time.
That’s why taking care of ourselves as parents and caregivers is important. Caring for ourselves improves our well-being and can help us be more present, patient and intentional with our kids.
Whether you struggle to find the time or aren’t sure what to do, here are a few strategies and reminders to help you start taking better care of yourself.
Show yourself (and others) compassion.
While it may seem that some parents have it all figured out, it’s important to remember that perfect parents don’t exist. Everyone faces challenges and experiences difficulties. However, this doesn’t stop many of us from comparing ourselves to other parents.
Practicing compassion toward yourself and others is essential as you continue your parenting journey. Remember that practicing compassion can be difficult at first and may take some time, especially if you tend to be more self-critical.
Here are some exercises to help foster compassion for yourself and those around you.
Pause to notice your thoughts. Do you know when you're being hard on yourself? When you’re frustrated or critical reflect on how you may judge yourself unfairly as a parent. For instance, you may tell yourself you are a ‘bad parent’ for getting angry with your child.
When you notice these types of thoughts, ask yourself questions like:
"Is this statement true, or is it just how I feel at this particular moment?"
"Would I judge or speak this way to a friend?"
Reframe negative thoughts with compassion. Many criticisms about ourselves as parents can stem from comparisons, unrealistic expectations or a lack of confidence in our parenting style. Reframing thoughts into more compassionate statements can help build confidence and give yourself (and others) grace.
Here are some ways to reframe statements to show compassion to yourself and those around you.
"I am trying my best and learning as I go." (Alternatively, "My [partner/friend/etc.] is doing their best, and we are both learning as we go.")
"I’m not alone; other parents find this hard, too."
"It’s okay if I can’t figure this out right now. I will try again later."
"Things have been difficult lately, and I need to take some time to care for myself." (Alternatively, "Things have been difficult for my partner and me lately, and we need to find a way to take a short break from being parents.")
"No one is perfect. We are all doing the best we can with what we have." (Alternatively, "No one is perfect. My in-laws are doing the best they can with what they have.")
While we try to do our best for our children, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and we can’t always control everything. If you feel challenged, don't beat yourself up. Instead, try to approach challenging situations with kindness and a growth mindset.
